Lots of people have “Tips” for bilingualism.  Well, on this blog, I don’t have tips.  I have quips.  So here are


  1. It is called Bi–lingualism for a reason.  You BUY twice as much.

2.  You know the old saying, “Bilingualism is 99% conversation and 1% aggravation.”

3.  Did you hear NASA has sent the very first librarian into outer space?   Her spaceship landed on Mars, and her first words to the inhabitants were, “Take me to your reader.”

4.  A:  “I have invented microchips that enable anybody to understand any language perfectly!  It’s simple.  You just insert the microchips into both your ears.”  B: “That’s amazing!”    A: “What?  I can’t hear you.

5.  男was always the life of the party, telling jokes and making people laugh.  Everybody said of 男, “What a character!”

6.  Two slices of bacon were talking, and they were using Pig Latin to communicate to the cook .  I know what you are thinking:  Pig Latin is a dead language.  That’s why they were using it.  They had gone to meet their maker.

7.  Vocabulary Victory:  that glorious feeling you achieve upon learning a new word from your textbook and then immediately hearing somebody use it in conversation.

8.  Dictionary Defeat:  that dismal feeling you achieve upon scanning your dictionary for hours and still not being able to find the stupid word you are looking for.

9.  My son had to learn about a topic for a school project and so I told him to do research at the library.  He said he would just use the computer.  I said, “No, they call it reSEARCH for a reason.  When they start calling it reGOOGLE, you can use the computer.”

And a bonus one for us bloggers:  “I link therefore I spam.”