One of the hazards of living in Japan and returning to America for a visit is that people want to talk about Japan. I’m like “I live there. Yawn.”

People who don’t know me and find out I live there are all, “jaPAN!!!!! That’s so inTERESTING!!!!!!” With a forced smile on their lips. Like they found out I live on Jupiter. Which I actually sort of do.

Then there’s the “There’s a Japanese person on TV! What are they saying! Can you understand that! Are geisha girls really prostitutes!”