My husband and I do not use dirty language. Oh sure, there might be an “Oh, sh*t” when I stub my toe, but in general this is quite a naughty language free zone.

However, my son enjoys watching and listening to video game walkthroughs on youtube, and some of those fellas have pretty colorful language. It doesn’t bother me because I don’t think dirty words are such a big deal. (The only thing I feel–and I have told this to my son–is that the Youtube gamers who don’t use dirty words are more creative and interesting speakers. When they get frustrated they have something imaginative to say, rather than dropping the F Bomb.)

Meanwhile, at my son’s school…..those whippersnappers are VERY interested in the English dirty words. So my son is providing a free, alternative English lesson. Of sorts.

Back in first or second grade, they asked him “How do you say ウンチ?” Poopy “How do you say おっぱい?” Booby. Those little kid words.

Now they have progressed to the F word. My son claims he did not teach them that word. They picked it up from movies. Whatever, Little Dude. Whatever.

And last night we had this following conversation:
Son: What does F-U-C-K? (He spells it. See, he is such a good boy.)
Me: FUCK.
Son: No, what does it MEAN?
Me: Having sex. You know, making babies.
My son thought about it for a while and had a few questions I can’t quite remember. Basically he wanted to know WHY it meant that (having sex.) and WHY it is a bad word and WHAT about Japanese–are there bad words like that in Japanese?

He was getting over my head. I don’t know the etymology of FUCK. I don’t even know the Japanese bad words except Bakayarou and, um, Kuso. But hanakuso means boogers so surely kuso is not that bad. Anyway, where was I?

Those are the kind of conversations you have with your child when he is eleven.